Michael Ausiello

Question: Do you know yet what your job at Entertainment Weekly will specifically entail? Will you still do Ass, I mean, Ask Ausiello? What about the Ausiello Report? Michael
Ausiello: Some version of both columns will exist on EW.com and in the magazine.

Question: I just wanted to say thank you for all of your work over the years. Thank you so much for being utterly obsessed with Gilmore Girls, especially Lauren Graham. Angela
Ausiello: Still not dying, people!

Question: Have you ever been to the home country of the Smurfs? If not, it’s time to book a flight! Steven (from Belgium)
Ausiello: Why do all the cool Smurf events happen in some faraway land?! Someone needs to organize something Smurfy — a parade, a swap meet, something — here in the states. Preferably within walking distance to my apartment in Hell’s Kitchen.

Question: Are you planning to marry Kit in California? If so, best of luck to both of you! And you better show us photos. Love you Michael and miss you at tvguide.com already. July can’t come fast enough for me. Beverley
Ausiello: No plans at the moment. Between us, I’m waiting to see how big this Pretty Bitter thing becomes before signing on the dotted line. There’s only room for one star in this relationship, and, gods dammit, it’s going to be me!

Question: Now that you have some free time on your hands, any chance you can find out what’s going to happen with House and Cuddy next season? Sabrina
Ausiello: It’s No. 3 on my list of things to do. Right after take a long nap and ignore this question.

Question: Have you seen Fringe yet? I know they had a press screening last week, did you go? It looks awesome! Nathan
Ausiello: I have seen it! And I’ll give you my surprising critique on July 2!

Question: It’s kind of hard to go to tvguide.com and you not being there, but I’ll follow your writing wherever it goes; best of luck! Now, what did you think of Lost’s 4th season finale? Ana Maria
Ausiello: I have seen it! And I’ll give you my surprising critique on July 2!

Question: Can we vote for you more than once with the Sexiest Veggie thing? Angelique
Ausiello: I’m looking into this for you. For now, assume the answer is, “Frak, yes!”

Question: I just got a Macbook Air, too! How do you like yours? Tricia
Ausiello: I love all 3 ounces of it. I signed up for those weekly One to One personal training sessions at the Apple Store, so I’m constantly learning new stuff. (Remember, I’ve been a PC guy all my life.) For example, this week, I discovered the awesomeness that is the Dashboard, where fun things like calculators and widgets and viral sticky notes live. It’s all so very, very exciting.

Question: Thank you. When I read that you were leaving TV Guide, I tried to think of how I could articulate what all the years of great moments your work at TV Guide has meant to me, and those two words say it all. Thank you. I started reading TVGuide.com every morning when I was in college. Some people get their news of the day from CNN; I got mine from you. You have no idea how many dark, sleepy mornings were made brighter by one of your snarky news items, and how many late nights I could make my roommate laugh by reading her something you had written. A love of TV brought me to TVGuide.com, but a love of your work is what convinced me to stay. I’ve been there for the past six years and have seen you through the first Ask Ausiello (and the hundred-something that followed), the beginning of the podcast, the end of the Watercooler, the beginning of your blog, the end of the podcast, the beginning of the vodcast, many Sexiest Vegetarian campaigns, some amazing interviews, and a few scandals (Whispergate? Isaiah Washington). I cherish the few questions I actually got into AA and I still get a little excited every time I look at my lovely Ausiello ice cream scooper (a gift from you when I wrote a snarky question about you, Keri Russell, the MIA network, William Fichtner and David Boreanaz). I’m part of the TVGuide.com family now, but I will definitely keep up with you at EW. Megan
Ausiello: Perhaps my favorite letter ever. Thank you, Megan!

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A live-action/CGI hybrid flick is coming to a theater near me, and I’m both overjoyed and terrified! Actually, it’s just the live-action element that frightens me. My nightmare scenario: Johan and Pewitt as played by Shia Labeouf and one of Lynette’s twin terrors from DH.

But not just any cupcake, his 1st birthday cupcake!

This photo was snapped Sunday afternoon at Will Ausiello’s 1st birthday party in Crofton, MD. And if my greasy mug wasn’t enough of a clue, yes, it was hot. The kind of hot that makes grown men cry. But look past my sweat-drenched face and behold the cuteness of little Will. He has his dad’s nose and his mom’s insatiable appetite for chocolate.

My first reaction was: “OK, which one of my “friends” thought it would be funny to photoshop a ginormous picture of me and Keri Russell into this week’s issue of EW?” I mean, I knew I was probably going to get a shout-out on the editor’s page, and perhaps it would be accompanied by a certain cherished photo from my personal archives… But never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined this.

Question: Did you see that your partner’s new stationery line, Pretty Bitter, was featured in Daily Candy’s Weekend Guide? How awesome is that? Cherlene
Ausiello: It would have been even more awesome had it not come out the day after I announced the biggest news of my career. Bastard went and stole my damn thunder. Adding insult to injury: I’ve spent the first four days of my vacation helping him process the 300-plus orders that have come in since the Daily Candy item ran last Friday. Our apartment looks like a freakin’ sweatshop! Even Mister Scooch has been put to work! (But seriously, keep the orders comin’!)

Question: I’ve been reading your TVGuide.com column for so long… way back when Felicity was on. Thanks so much for the laughs. Humor like yours is rare to find these days. Suzanne
Ausiello: For the last time, I’m not dead, people! I’m just changing jobs!

Question: Will you be writing for Entertainment Weekly magazine and EW.com? Rick
Ausiello: That’s the plan.

Question: You can’t be leaving! I get up every Wednesday morning and head straight for AA. Will you be doing similar stuff at EW? Leslie
Ausiello: Yep! I may even contribute a book review or two if hell freezes over!

Question: When do you start at EW? Cathy
Ausiello: Early July. But sources confirm to me exclusively that there’s a strong possibility I’ll be making a little cameo in this week’s issue (on sale Friday).

Question: So, I voted for you for PETA’s Sexiest Veg Celebrity, but now I’m getting annoying emails from Ingrid Newkirk. I think this deserves some Dirty Sexy Money Scoop! JJ
Ausiello: No scoop until July 2! But if you happen to run into me around town, I may be tempted to tell you *** **** ** *** ***** ****** ******* **** **** ****** ***** ****** **** ******.

Question: I have to say, I thought TV Guide handled your departure with surprising grace and humor. Amy
Ausiello: I couldn’t agree more. That’s one classy group of people.

Question: What are you doing with your free time? Joel
Ausiello: I’m learning the ins and outs of my new MacBook Air, which rocks, BTW. I’m also going to remind my nieces and nephews that their Uncle Mike isn’t a figment of their imaginations; he really does exist. And if I get really bored, I may even take a book to Starbucks and pretend to read it. The possibilities are endless.

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